Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize