Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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