You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
