Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
