Just cropdusted the office
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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