Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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