is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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