shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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