Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
