Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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