Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
