this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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