But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize