I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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