Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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