Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
