your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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