ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He passed out mid-signature
Houston, we have a squirter
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
