i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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