Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
