Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
