i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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