I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
