its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
