Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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