You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
