I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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