So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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