we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
