my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
