Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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