are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
