My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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