all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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