Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
