God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
