He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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