"it" just moved
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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