Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
