And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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