"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
