and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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