Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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