the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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