I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
