that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
