i may or may not be watching the land before time
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
