too bad you live with your parents still
i think i have herpe
just one?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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