Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
