at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
