Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
