and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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