Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
