So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
