We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
