Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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