Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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