Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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