Old men and throwing up are my life now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
