What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
