it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
