i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
